Puzzling
by Mattitude
Summary: Matching purple tights? GOOD. Matching puzzle pieces .. not so much. ONE-SHOT silliness inspired by Survivor Series and Twilight puzzles? GOOD. WHEN PUZZLES ARE FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE? NOT SO MUCH.


**A/N: **In case you were wondering, that Jacob Black puzzle is a BITCH. EVERY PIECE LOOKS THE SAME.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Matt Hardy, yet anyway, and Lauren only owns Mizzy in cake form. Sad.

* * *

Matt mumbled to himself yet again, shaking his head as Mike continued to flip through every station of the XM radio as if his life depended on it.

"You say somethin'?"

"I said I really wish Nicki could have set her best friend up with someone cool. Like Ziggler."

"Ziggler wishes he was as cool as me. Besides, Lauren thinks I'm awesome."

"If by awesome you mean lame, then yes, that's exactly what you are Mike."

Mike crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, pouting from the passenger seat of Matt's corvette.

"You're the one who said you wanted a guys day," he pointed out.

"I meant with Shannon or Shane, not hanging out with your lame ass."

"Least my ass fits into a pair of trunks," Mike mumbled, looking out the window.

"Keep talking Miz, you'll be walking your ass back down Boys Camp Road."

Mike shut his mouth for once and was silent the rest of the way back. He let out his breath in a woosh once they pulled up in front of Matt's brick house and he just about fell out of the car in his haste to get away from Matt and back to his girlfriend, who at least would protect him if Matt tried to punch him. Again. Matt casually strolled up to the porch and opened the door, scooping up the little white rat he passed off as a dog on his way in and proceeding to baby talk "Yucas" until Mike started making gagging noises.

"We're back!" Mike called out, but was met with silence. He frowned, looking around. "Are they gone?"

"Cars are here," Matt pointed out, placing Lucas down. "Babe?"

"Down here," Nicki called, and Matt headed down the stairs to the basement, Mike on his heels. Their girlfriends sat on the floor around the coffee table, heads down as they focused on their task.

"Whatcha guys up ... WHAT IS THAT?" Matt's eyes grew to saucers as he surveyed the table in front of him, on which sat a half completed puzzle and a large picture that served as the puzzles guide.

"A puzzle," Lauren said matter-of-factly, not removing her eyes from the small pieces.

"I can see that, thanks. Wha .. " Matt continued to blink at the picture in front of him, one of him and The Miz in the ring at Survivor Series, both wearing their wrestling attire, circling each other as they prepared to square off.

"A fan sent it! Isn't it cute, you guys match!" Nicki grinned up at the men, handing over the picture for their approval. Already on the table was the completed border and both men's bright purple tights, Nicki was working on what appeared to be Matt's chest as Lauren scanned the table.

"That's not cute, that's frightening," Mike said, and Matt nodded. "Anyway, are you ready to go?" Mike shoved his hands in his pockets and looked expectantly at Lauren, only to be met with silence. "Hello, earth to Lauren .."

"It's gotta be somew..." Lauren continued to scan over the tiny pieces scattered across the table. "HERE!" She yelled so loudly that Matt and Mike both jumped in surprise. "FINALLY!" She put a small piece in and sat back, literally clapping her hands with delight, and Mike's mouth dropped open as he stared down at his own face.

"Gosh he really does have nice lips," Nicki said admiringly, surveying Lauren's handiwork.

"Oh they're nice in more than one way."

"Uh girls? Still here," Matt said, clearing his throat. Lauren turned to look at them, focusing on her boyfriend.

"They're even better in person, see?" Nicki turned to look at Mike's lips.

"Mmmm-hmmm," she agreed, nodding her head in approval as Mike's cheeks turned crimson.

"It's even better when he licks 'em."

"I'll bet."

"Oookay, so..I think Lauren and Mike probably have stuff they need to do.." Matt stated as both girls turned back to the puzzle.

"Nope, just gotta finish this," Lauren replied, scanning for some other pieces.

"I bet it'll just take a few more hours at this rate," Nicki agreed, connecting a piece displaying Matt's bellybutton.

"Well we'll help!" Matt offered, stepping around to sit on the couch.

"We will?"

"Of course. The more people that help, the sooner the puzzle gets finished."

"Pretty smart Hardy," Mike said, smiling as he sat on his knees at Lauren's side.

"My good looks and charming personality are just bonuses," Matt laughed, placing a piece of the blue wrestling mat down. "Look at that, got one already."

* * *

"Where did we go wrong?" Nicki stared at the scene before her, shaking her head sadly. Lauren mimicked her movement before taking a swig of beer, both girls sitting on the pool table across the basement rec room.

"We coulda had it finished an hour ago," she stated, and Nicki nodded in agreement.

"I TOLD YOU THAT DOESN'T GO THERE! LOOK MICHAEL, FEMALE MALE MALE FEMALE! SEE?!?!" Matt jabbed at the pieces on the table as he pointed them out one by one. Mike took a deep breath, his voice coming out steely and menacing.

"If it doesn't go there. Then we are missing. That piece." He spat out each word with clenched teeth.

"No we are not. That is my purple, and THAT is your purple. See?" Matt held up two pieces an inch away from Mike's nose. "Mine is all shiny and nice, and yours is dull and ugly."

"Your face is ugly," Mike muttered, and Matt stood up.

"Boys. If we can't play nice we can't play at all," Nicki called out, and Lauren snickered as Matt sat back down, grumbling.

* * *

Four hours and fourty-two minutes later the girls were awoken from their spots on the couches upstairs by loud whoops and yells.

"With any luck they killed each other," Lauren muttered, pulling the blanket over her head. A few seconds later a pair of hands ripped it off of her.

"LAUREN! COME LOOK!" Mike practically dragged her off the couch and down the stairs as he talked animatedly and excitedly, arms waving around. Lauren could make out every 3rd or so word, which seemed to be "puzzle", "purple", and "douchebag Hardy". Behind her she could hear Nicki threatening Matt's life as she stomped down the stairs.

"MATTHEW MOORE IF YOU PUSH ME ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO SMOTHER YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP!" she yelled, and Lauren laughed mid-yawn.

"TADA!!!" The boys stood on either side of the table, grinning as they held their arms out to display the puzzle in Vanna White fashion. Both girls stood in front of the coffee table, arms crossed. They looked at the puzzle, then at the men, then at each other.

"What?" Matt asked.

"Nothing. Nothing. Good job!" Nicki assured him.

"No, what?"

"What is it?" Mike asked, and the girls once again looked at each other.

"Well, it's just that."

"Well.."

They both pointed to a spot in the center of the puzzle, their voices coming out in unison.

"That piece doesn't go there."

* * *

**Wonk wonk woooonk. ;)**


End file.
